every day, we are new...

hatching.

at last.

The lighting is right...



-marika

the beauty in things...

sometimes the most beautiful things are the simplest of things...

like where he left his shoes...






-marika

p.s. you just might be my duprass...

where days become dreams....

I am swimming in that place where days become dreams...
where anything and everything is possible...
like flying.

only, I'm soaring.






-marika

among lions....

I am queen.





-marika

exhale.

by the sea i see...

... and hear
...and feel


...and exhale




-marika

Forshadowing...

I found this self portrait a few days ago. I took it about a year ago. It was interesting timing, finding it when I was in such a sad place within myself. Looking at this image, I see a girl stuck in an empty home looking out into the world that has been waiting for her to join it. That is exactly where I was in my life, but I would not let myself see it then.





Today I found the strength within myself (thanks to my wonderful mother who is an amazing hypnotherapist) to let it all go... to just let all the anger and hurt and negativity stay back in the past where it belongs. I take with me all the lessons I have learned, but the pain and sadness stay behind. That big beautiful world is still waiting for me, and I intend to enter it with a happy heart and open mind.

-marika

Me.

-marika

finding my way...

...through the trees and into the light.

never stop growing sweet girl.


-marika

to find oneself...

You must choose to really see yourself...
I refuse to be blinded by insecurities or fears any longer.
This is who I am, and I am damn proud to be me.

-marika

fly.

fly, she will.

some words.

I've spent the last four years of my life in a wonderful little house with a boyfriend I've loved and two beautiful pups who make my heart sing every time I see them. Three days ago that life of mine was changed. It ended. I am 26 years old (and seven days), and I have moved back into my mother's house.
My life had become toxic. My relationship with the man I loved had turned into a resentful, bitter, unhealthy one on both our parts. But I still loved him. I think back to a weekend sailing trip with my family in September 2009... we camped out on James Island. Stephen and I hiked out to a beach my family call's 'Pirate Beach.' The sun was warm, and the water was sparkling. It was a beautiful day. A peaceful day. I had a sudden urge to strip my clothes off and jump into the cold ocean. I knew this sort of thing would make Stephen laugh because it's exactly the kind of thing he would do... it's just funnier seeing me do it. We jumped in the water, then let the sun dry us off, hoping no one would wander down the trail to find us in our underwear. This is what I want to remember right now. The times like that.
The time we rode our bikes along the Columbia River Gorge... from The Dalles to Portland, then across to Washington and back along the river to The Dalles... about 190 miles... How hard it was for me at times, but Stephen just kept letting me know how proud he was of me for not giving up.

Right now I am heartbroken, sad, and terrified. I've woken up next to him every day for the past four years (except for the 4 1/2 months I spent in Missoula at photography school in 2007). I've woken up to little wet noses belonging to my beautiful pups kissing me until I get up to let them outside to see if the neighbors left any treats for them. I have no idea what the future holds... and I am absolutely terrified about it.

speak to me...

this little bird lost her wings
ever so quietly
she is remembering





yours,
marika

I'm back....

so... I have completely abandoned my duties to this project for the month of May... I know I haven't updated since late march, but I will post April's photos after this blog... but as for May.... my heart just couldn't keep up. This is my photo for the last evening of May, and starting now, the project is back on... I apologize to those of you who have been patiently waiting for new images. Thank you for your support. June is for you.


Love marika.